After you left, I said that I would wait…
not seek shelter in another lover’s arms
Burning with resentment,
smoldering, to be clear,
decided to write a book or three
But three turned into five,
Now I’m still digging the same hole…
Excuses take on many forms,
fear of falling’s not in vain
It’s easy to surround yourself
with what you choose to hate
Saying you will wait is how
you regulate your pain.

Consistency bridges distance
from free-flow to self-destruction
Feeling my way with words,
blind intuition guides my steps
But you still whisper in my ears,
“Remembrance is seduction.”
Sinking into mud, it seems,
we dream of poems as sacred charms
The stars are jealous, plain to see,
light disguises, twist perception
Through loneliness and fears,
we take without the slightest qualms…

The fires we start burn slowly,
yet achieve desired ends
And stories flow down similar streams
We drown on purpose, still pretend…
Starving for affection, love is lost,
in recollection
Yet, in the moment, we can’t see
the lovely mess we make
Chasing what is gone,
there is no room for perfection

Chances saved for future use,
the days that never come
Confused, we calculate the sun,
reduce our wasted time to none
Reality, we can’t outrun.
Charades dissolve to pantomimes,
secret codes for crossing lines
I told you it was deep,
the truth’s a sword that cuts both ways
Night and day, you tell yourself
that you are feeling fine

No matter now, it’s clearly done:
a lame excuse for having fun
Christmas at the beach again,
riding solo, secret friend
Crystal sands, blue skies crying,
seasons melting in the sun
Sand and sea and gravity,
me, myself, and I, again
Six years on, and I’ve become
a version of my past
Love was never meant to last,
oceans bleeding, day’s remains.

A canvas for your faded paints,
a splash across an empty page
Blues and grays for slipstream days
Colors scream and quickly fade
Some items for your list, undone,
some facts we cannot hide
Some testament of me and you,
a letter to a friend
She said our love would never end;
obviously, she lied.

I recognized, but still, I hide,
in layers of outrageous pride
Just admit you’re wrong already,
take it on the chin
There’s grace stuffed in our pockets,
but it takes some effort reaching in…
Say I’m sorry, speak up first,
words well-worn no wear for worse
You probably think me somewhat mad,
a hatter off the wall
It’s what you will, some ink we spill,
makes your world seem small.

Then, I come to call,
you lock the door, say please come again
Pretending to be someone else,
you told me, let’s be friends
But still I knock, ring the bell,
never letting go, it seems
A line we cross, a stop too far,
a wish that clings to shooting stars
I’ve walked away from love before,
said goodbye, said no more
We can’t go back, relight the fire,
once it’s quenched by lost desire

So let me get this straight,
you said I was first to know?
But clearly I was last,
It seems the memo came too late.
Still, fate’s a bitch, a twist, I know,
or destiny…I’m so confused…
But facts are facts, they lead me back,
Controlling time is much the same,
as present tense anomalies…
Faith and fractured families,
analogies, priorities,
We wait for something better,
but it never does arrive…
On this, I’m sure, we both agree,
the future is surreal…
A road map based on how we feel,
to know we’re still alive.

TM DiSarro

©2026 TM DiSarro / MindScapes Publishing

From My New Book: ILLUMICAT

Available on Amazon