I felt the sacred sun upon my face
But it was only light without warmth
Denial blurs interpretation
A matter of our separation
Someone had to let me know…
Shock to my senses
Letting down defenses
Shake the living daylights out
The word goodbye inside my mouth
Taste without flavor…yes it blurs
Something bitter, rather strange
She’s gone. Departed. Changed her name
Dead or leaving, much the same
A microcosm hell on earth
No, I never knew your worth
Until you said goodbye
Told me you were tired
Indecisive, maybe yes?
It’s anybody’s guess
Yet guessing is a question mark
To spark debate or fan a fire
As you very clearly know
The wind can blow as it desires
Strip the leaves off Autumn trees
Reveal a lover as a liar
We see a world that lives and breathes
the nature of the beast, you see?
You told me it was you, not me
The scent and touch of madness
A present tense of sadness
Still, so very hard to tell
Death or leaving, one the same
Propagating point and blame
It’s written on my face
Disgrace
by any other name

Now anger fans into a flame
Breathing fire. Watch me burn.
Will I ever learn? I do hope so!
These dreams of once and future loves
Collapsing as if worlds collide
Super Novas. Blinding white
Seeing red inside my bed
I rage into that vacant night
Where once you filled my veins as blood,
Passion’s fury overflows
This madness kills, it spills like ink…
Morality, analogies
So far beyond apologies
Continuity, mock congruity
Describing what could be (would be)
What isn’t now
The where
The how
The bottom line. The truth. The lies
Sincerely told me love had died
Buried in your fragile mind
I sent you flowers…endless texts
To bridge the space between
Seems it only makes it worse
Apart there’s only darkness now
Be gone into the shadows
Drown

Now I bargain with the dead
A conversation in my head
Listen to me…hear my prayer!
You know inside your heart of hearts
I never meant to hurt you
Even though you injured me
We see the path so differently
but once aligned our lives
Husbands hurting wives with lies
Wives becoming slaves
Lifetime loves to early graves
Buried quite alive
We hoard our gathered distance
with the mileage that we save
Pedestals to place you on
Tortured soul or vagabond
Listen as my prayer unfolds
Like pages you once saved of mine
Kept inside your phone
Said as much, the need for touch
was driving you quite mad
Said you loved the words we shared
Best you ever had
Said it was not me, it’s you
Entirely…I could not believe
and were we both deceived?
Concocting life inside a dream
The truth as we perceived
You know I love you, always have,
I said it many times…
Unfortunately, respect was lost…
you read between my lines

Now my world is dark…
more a deeper shade of blue
Acceptance arrived so late
Integrating twists of fate
Questions stirring into waves
Sinking in a watery grave
Of clues I clearly missed
The essence of a kiss
Blurring my regrets
How soon the day forgets
to shine its light upon the dead
Feeling like I’m stealing breaths,
a prisoner of my bed
My notebooks on the nightstand
where it starves for blood and ink
No need to think…no need at all
I used to call your name
Like a stain inside my ceiling
Playing games creating faces
Filling in the empty spaces

Yes, I accept that it was me
For what it’s worth, I’m to blame
Heavy is the broken heart
by any other name
The days have sadly turned to years,
my tears have long since dried
Where once denied your loss as death,
I understand and now accept
My faults are many…were…now few
Maybe down to one or two
Yes, I realize that I’m flawed
What’s more, the doors been closed before
And more than likely, once again
While I was searching for more words
Changing history with my pen
Trading darkness for true love
It takes a death to rise above
The past we never can undo
Like time and tides or ebb and flow
The stories go the way of truth
Like fire purifies the soul
Sometimes we never learn

TM DiSarro

New book available:

POKING HOLES IN THE DARKNESS